Monday, May 11, 2015

Google: Lord and Master Turned Enemy

I've always been a fan of Google and the right to access infinite knowledge. However, when an innocent College and Career Week activity results in a student nearly calling my dad's business . . . well, then a girl has to reevaluate her self-proclaimed Google-philia.

For the first day of College and Career Week, faculty was encouraged to wear representation for their alma mater. So despite the near-80 degree weather, I donned my bright, pink Pace sweatshirt. Advisory teachers, including myself, were asked to have our students decorate our classroom doors to represent our respective schools.

It sounded perfectly reasonable and one mass email later, I had the necessary blue and gold construction paper to showcase Pace University.

The "raven croaked itself hoarse" when I asked my students to conduct online research about Pace to give them decoration ideas. An inquisitive, "Miss, how old are you?" and a mischevious, "36 or 62 or whatever age you want me to be," resulted in the following horrifyingly hilarious moments:

1. "Is this you? It's on the school website," in response to an article on the School of Education site.

2. "Oh, you write poems, Miss..." and then proceeds to regale the class with my bad art.

3. "Miss, I know how old you are! You're 23, turning 24. Or are you 24 already?"

4. "Miss, you've been to Japan?!" "What? No, but I watch Japanese shows and blog and stuff..."

5. "Miss, who's Mohamed?" " What? My dad! What are you ladies doing, anyway?!"

6. "Miss, by the end of tonight, I'm going to know everything about you," as if that's not creepy at all.

7. "Who's Arabdgshs," butchering my poor mother's name. (Digression: I celebrated Mother's Day by flooding the bathroom and I remain un-disowned. My mom is more awesome than yours!)

8. Student at phone: "Miss, I'm calling your phone!" "Lemme see the number.... T, stop, you're calling my dad's business! That's it--you all have a problem and I'm cutting you off!"

Just a typical day with my crazy, yet loveable kiddos.


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